The Shadow and the Sword of Truth

To be the guilty party,
Bringing darkness into light.
To rage in one’s anxiety,
To make wrong, that which is right.

To hold something so sacred
And almost crush it in one’s hands.
To suffocate its goodness,
And fail to understand.

To covert love with fear
And lose the trust to let it fly away.
Lost in a fog of stress
And striking out every which way.

To almost break the bond,
That took so long to create.
Then spend eternity in forever,
Making amends for this mistake.

Silence and the Shadow

If I sit in silence
Sit in silence in this room.
I must sit and stare into the darkness and the gloom.
The darkness and the gloom that is the centre of my self.
I must sit here and then face me by myself.

You are not here to help me,
As I blindly battle through.
My memories casting shadows across the floor I gaze onto.
My fears that rise like smoke and choke me as I breathe
And sting my eyes as I hopelessly try to see.

Worry, guilt and anger now gouge cracks into the floor.
Pain fills them up and covers my ceaseless endless inner war.
I try to shine a light of forgiveness into this dark place,
But my shadow blows out the candle flame with hate.

If this was you instead of me,
Sitting silently in this chair.
Would it help if I was here and sat just over there?
Would I fathom in you, what you couldn’t fathom in yourself?
Do you think that I could be of any help?

If, of course you might just happen to say yes. Then I would ask you to help me.
Although it may portray a slight pathetic dependency.
If I could not just sit here by myself and work this out.
It would be easier for me to just cast this inner shadow out.
To flush it down the toilet and forget that it was ever there.
To fling it from a cliff top, wildly without a care.
To hurl it in front of a moving train and pray for its quick death.
Rather than try and love this thing as the dark side of myself.

And so I sit in silence.
Sit in silence in this room
Wishing you were here to share your darkness and your gloom.
Because a problem shared they say, is a problem halved.
So we may break apart this silence and just laugh.

The Light and the Shadow

I know I can’t kill it,
‘Cos it won’t die.
I know I can’t kill it,
As I have tried.
I have tried almost every day,
Since I’ve been alive.
But it just simply won’t go away.

How can I love this loathsome thing?
With its foul mouth,
With its jealous grin.
With its bulging bulbous eyes
And its greasy hair.
Its yellow nails, like claws,
I just simply cannot bear.

I used to contain it inside a wooden box,
That I wrapped in chains,
And I surrounded in locks.
I gave up all the things that used to draw it out,
As it could then rip through the chains
And would dance about.
It would run wild riot, thrilled to be free
And make an appalling person of me.

So alcohol just had to go
And red meat too,
That gave it fuel to grow.
So I made it weak and I made it small
And back inside its box it crawled.
So I chained it up and I locked it in,
And I kept away from others too akin,
To its evil ways, that I used to know,
And I stayed by myself
And it lay low.

I would let it out when I exercised,
And wear it out with long cycle rides.
Until it was too tired to think.
But it was happy without a drink,
And it was happy without eating meat,
So back inside its box it would shrink,
And I’d lock it in and breathe a sigh.

But locked inside its box it would cry.
As it was lonely and I was too,
And neither of us knew what we could do.
As what I’d create,
It would smash in two.

But if it gets ill,
It makes me sick
And if I learn skills,
It doesn’t miss a trick.
And when I get tired,
It wakes up.
And when I feel weak,
It’s strong enough,
To break the chains and bounce right out,
And go run riot and dance about.

But it’s not as bad as it used to be.
It’s much happier now, since I gave it a key.
To all the locks of all the chains,
So it lets itself out and back in again.
It can’t be free for long you see,
Because it can never be free from inside me.

When it looks behind, it sees my light.
My light is never out of its sight.
My light is never far away.
So even if it’s dark today.
If it’s running riot and dancing about,
It’ll have to be quiet when my light shines its shadow out,
And it looks all sheepish and waves its key,
Then retreats into its box for a little sleep.
Until I call it and it’s all right,
For us to run riot and dance all night!!!!!

If we sit and Pray

If we sit and pray today
There may be nothing we could say,
There may be nothing I can do
But sit down here and pray with you.

I cannot change the hurt you feel
Or make reality any less real.
I can’t affect what people say,
Or chase those memories away.

The only thing that I can do,
Is sit down here and pray with you.

This place is ours up in the sky,
Where our spirits are free to fly,
Where all our worries fall away,
This is where we come to pray.

The Goddess hears each word we speak,
You feel her hand brush across your cheek,
She holds you closely to her breast,
And gives your heart sometime to rest.
She gives your mind some time to sleep.
She helps you heal,
She lets you weep.

She knows that you will make it through.
But until the day you do,
I will sit and pray with you.

Is it ever too late?

If ears are willing to listen,
And hearts are willing to open
Then it is never too late.

If spirits stay close in anticipation
And souls wait to hear you cry out,
Then it is never too late.

If death is not a boundary,
But a bridge across what has always been the divide,
Then is it ever too late?
And if age breaks down the walls of pain and pride,
Then it is never too late.

The flower of understanding
Blooms when it needs to bloom.
Sometimes when we are young and naive
And sometimes, not so soon.

Those we love may be with us
But often they have gone.
But forgiveness waits like a child of time
And he cares not for how long.

One year, one decade, one lifetime, maybe two or three.
It matters not how long it takes
It matters though,
That it is never too late for thee.

The Path to Transformation
(Illumination of a Dream Aug 2013)

When doubt engulfs you.
When fear surrounds you.
When sadness drowns you.
Remember me.
When nothing excites you.
When even anger will not ignite you.
When danger cannot provoke you.
And death has no power over you.
Remember me.
If bathing in my light cannot soothe you.
If my radiance will not heal you.
If my heat fails to comfort you.
And if your desire to seek me out has left you.
Then in you I am forsaken.

I will rise only if you call me.
Only when you scream out my name
From the depths of your darkness a million times.
And you will see me, for a second.
And feel me, like a spark in your soul.
Until you scream again.
Until your lungs are bursting with the effort.
Until you have exhausted every ounce of energy you have,
Running, searching, reaching out to find me.
Only then, will I believe you
Only then, will I trust, that you will feed my flame.
That in you my light will shine,
In all its true brilliance.
In its highest and most Divine.

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